Kill me once. I shall come back with a vengeance. Kill me twice. Well if I come back then that means I will never die.
A lot has gone on in my life in the last two years. Sometimes it’s hard to find the balance between what I love and what I must do to survive in this world. And I know what you’re thinking, “It’s not hard. You just sit your ass down and actually write.” While I will agree with you on that thought, this is probably one of those moments where it’s actually easier said than done. I have left a job in Kansas, got a contract job working from my own home, got a full time job in Arkansas which led to me moving to Arkansas, and now I’m in a transitioning process. In between all of this, I’m spending time with my boyfriend and seeing a therapist that’s helping me to deal with some long term anxiety. All of this has worn me out and caused me to push some of my personal activities towards the point where one foot is out the door. That is, until one day.
In one of my sessions with my therapist, she recommended that I do something that made me happy. What was it that made me happy? Reading, making movies, writing. That’s when it hit me. These activities made an impact in my life. They helped me to escape from the struggles of the real world and express my creativity in a healthy manner. I did do some films from time to time, plus I had a contract job working as a video editor, but I never put forth the passion that I had back when I was in college. It felt like a part of me was missing. One film I helped to make back in 2017 was a moment of lighting that passion that I once had. But all too quickly, it had gone out.
Well now I’m here to say I will never let that side of me fall to that point. I won’t let it die, especially now that I’m in the place that helped to give birth to that side of me. I let the needs of reality control my life, and I needed to find that perfect balance between it all. I know I had made a post back in (I believe) 2013, claiming that I had plans for this blog, but that quickly fell through the cracks. Now I’m here to tell you guys, that I will continue with this blog as much as possible, and keep you guys up to date on the films I will be working on in the future and the films I have done within the two year hiatus. I will also try to post some inspirational pieces to help struggling artists like myself try to find that balance between what they love doing and what they have to do in a daily life to earn a living. The grim reality of it, is it’s not all that easy to find a job as an artists. In fact, my college professors were right about not having a career. But that’s where persistence and the drive to continue doing what you love comes in. Because if you let it fade away, all it will do it wither your mental state away until your soul becomes hollow.
Nicole Rousseau 